To the Friends Who Feel Broken and I May Have Loved Too Much

I am not a good plant dad

I keep trying, but even the nice person

At the flower shop

Is starting to tell me my credit card was

Rejected with a worried look in their eye

They’re hoping I stop killing all their plants,

But at the same time they can’t complain too much

Because I’m damn good business

 

If plants had a religion, I’d be their god of death

I’d come in with a watering can and

Block out the sun

You see, I worry that I’ve been watering them too much,

Flooding the dirt until they drown in

How much I’m trying to care for them

 

I worry I do the same thing with people

I see the best in them, am too believing

In their hearts to see their minds

I worry that I drown them with

Unconditional love

That they can’t drink down

Like oil to water, it doesn’t mix with what they know

It just takes up more space

Unable to be processed

Until they cannot breathe

 

You can only break a heart with kindness

If it doesn’t know it’s deserving of that kind of love

If it’s only known that love and fear are inseparable

The way flowers release pollen

Knowing that they may get stung

 

I watch as you pluck your own petals

They love me

They love me not

Over and over

Until there’s nothing left of you

But I hope, as you pull that last petal

That the words, like honey, fall from your mouth

They love me

 

Because I do -

And if it feels like too much,

I will only love you more

To prove my point.

 

I am stubborn to a fault

I will Sisyphus the shit out of that rock

No matter how many times I need to keep pushing it up the hill

I will Icarus my life over and over

Burning on the same sun with new wings

 

I will not give up hope

Because no matter how broken you feel

You are loved

You, are loved

You. I love.